Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
