im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
