so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
