I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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