is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
and she was petting her beer can
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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