And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
