I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
