Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
