It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
