And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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