well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
