he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
