Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
