I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
