Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
