i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
