Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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