**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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