One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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