is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she told me i tasted like america
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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