The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Say something about gay babies.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
