....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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