By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
