Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
