She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
