i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
