new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
