SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My ATM looks so different sober.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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