OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
