The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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