Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
