I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
handjob tips. give me some.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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