So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
