Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
