I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
