I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
