Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
