What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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