Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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