I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
