she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
