No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
