So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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