I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
