Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
