I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
