don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
