and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
