Is it because I queefed?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
