Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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